PDF FREE [Fifty Shades of Grey]

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  1. says: free read ´ eBook, PDF or Kindle ePUB ñ E.L. James E.L. James ñ 7 review summary Fifty Shades of Grey

    E.L. James ñ 7 review free read ´ eBook, PDF or Kindle ePUB ñ E.L. James summary Fifty Shades of Grey You know I was beginning to wonder if I needed to change some of my two star books to one star I was thinking that I might not ever personally read a book worthy of one star and I was messing up my scale by giving some of the lame books I've re

  2. says: PDF FREE [Fifty Shades of Grey] summary Fifty Shades of Grey

    PDF FREE [Fifty Shades of Grey] What in the hell just happened? Did I really read that? Oh my god I did I did read that Meet Anastasia Steele Ana

  3. says: summary Fifty Shades of Grey E.L. James ñ 7 review PDF FREE [Fifty Shades of Grey]

    PDF FREE [Fifty Shades of Grey] Trigger Warning This review contains strong themes to include rapeBefore I begin what will likely become a very long rantpublic service announcement let me first say a few words I have nothing against EL James Nothing She’s said that this series is a fantasy she managed to put on paper and that she never expected it to gain such momentum Good for her for perusing her dream of writing If this book also fulfills one of y

  4. says: E.L. James ñ 7 review free read ´ eBook, PDF or Kindle ePUB ñ E.L. James summary Fifty Shades of Grey

    summary Fifty Shades of Grey PDF FREE [Fifty Shades of Grey] free read ´ eBook, PDF or Kindle ePUB ñ E.L. James Introducing an even abusive and disturbing TWILIGHT Now with whips and chains Fifty Shades of Shit Haters please exit stage leftI'm not sure what possessed me to pick up Fifty Shades of Grey I thought I might genuinely like it before I start

  5. says: free read ´ eBook, PDF or Kindle ePUB ñ E.L. James E.L. James ñ 7 review PDF FREE [Fifty Shades of Grey]

    PDF FREE [Fifty Shades of Grey] In the words of Miss Steele You need to sort your shit out Grey Good day sir Fifty Shades of Grey like Fifty shades of fucked up nonsense rolls eyes I should get a medal for just finishing this tripe I honestly do NOT feel like revisiting this book and writing a review I’d rather spend the time searching for ways to remove this utter nonsense from my memory However this book is so bad that I feel the need t

  6. says: summary Fifty Shades of Grey E.L. James ñ 7 review free read ´ eBook, PDF or Kindle ePUB ñ E.L. James

    E.L. James ñ 7 review free read ´ eBook, PDF or Kindle ePUB ñ E.L. James PDF FREE [Fifty Shades of Grey] Garbage Absolutely horrifying utter trash A waste of trees bookshelf space and precious oh so very fucking precious braincells Honestly why is this even published? Every single book store in Sydney is promoting this tripe claiming it to be some kind of awesome romance novel Are you absolutely shitting me? There is nothing romantic at all a

  7. says: summary Fifty Shades of Grey E.L. James ñ 7 review PDF FREE [Fifty Shades of Grey]

    PDF FREE [Fifty Shades of Grey] Head's up If any of you fuckers comment at the bottom of this review and say You don't understand BDSM I will h

  8. says: summary Fifty Shades of Grey free read ´ eBook, PDF or Kindle ePUB ñ E.L. James E.L. James ñ 7 review

    E.L. James ñ 7 review free read ´ eBook, PDF or Kindle ePUB ñ E.L. James summary Fifty Shades of Grey 0 stars DNF 55% Review edited February 12 2015“Sex is than an act of pleasure it's the ability to be able to feel so close to a person so connected so comfortable that it's almost breathtaking to the point you feel you can’t take it And at this moment you're a part of them 
 Author unknown 

I've had a rather long list of issues when I decided to abandon ship FSoShit is garbage and if I had read a p

  9. says: summary Fifty Shades of Grey free read ´ eBook, PDF or Kindle ePUB ñ E.L. James E.L. James ñ 7 review

    free read ´ eBook, PDF or Kindle ePUB ñ E.L. James PDF FREE [Fifty Shades of Grey] E.L. James ñ 7 review I didn’t want to start this book Many people are praising it but I’m simply not into erotica it’s too cheap for me But here I am in the mind of the innocent waiting to be devoured by the big bad wolf Sounds pornographic doesn

  10. says: PDF FREE [Fifty Shades of Grey]

    PDF FREE [Fifty Shades of Grey] Those of you who have had the privilege of reading Fifty Shades of Grey will appreciate the context in which this review was written For those of you who have not read the book well you’ll have to buy a copy to understand the inside joke CONTRACTDated this day 28th day of October 2011 BETWEENPA LUPTON reader and fan Fifty Shades of Grey by E L JamesAndALL FANS OF EROTIC CONTEMPORARY ROMANCEEXPECTATIONSReaders can ex

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summary Fifty Shades of Grey

Fifty Shades of Grey characters µ 7 Sie ist 21 Literaturstudentin und in der Liebe nicht allzu erfahren Doch dann lernt Ana Steele den reichen und ebenso unverschämt selbstbewussten wie attraktiven Unternehmer Christian Grey bei. Trigger Warning This review contains strong themes to include rapeBefore I begin what will likely become a very long rantpublic service announcement let me first say a few words I have nothing against EL James Nothing She s said that this series is a fantasy she managed to put on paper and that she never expected it to gain such momentum Good for her for perusing her dream of writing If this book also fulfills one of your fantasies or if you just plain enjoyed it good for you too This review is in no way meant to belittle or condemn you for liking these books and nor is it an attack on the author These are solely MY OPINIONS about how dangerous FSoG is to society and specifically to women Needless to say this book does not fulfill one of my fantasies It s pretty much my biggest nightmare But it s just fiction No You can t use that argument with me Not any This book is not just fiction This book has become a frigging phenomenon As I write this over 70 million copies have been sold in the United States alone hardware stores have run out of natural fiber rope and there are even BDSM for Beginners classes cropping up in small town AmericaSo excuse me but I can t just read this and think of it like a fantasy not when it s become a reality for so many people and not when I was so enraged by what I found within itOkay everyone take a deep breath grab a cup of coffee or a glass of wine and settle in We re going to be here for a while First up is probably the most inflammatory of the statements I m going to make so we might as well rip the band aid offTHIS BOOK PERPETUATES THE RAPE CULTURE WE WERE ALL RAISED INThere I ve said it I m not taking it back and I m not apologizing If you re unfamiliar with this phrase allow me to elaborate Wikipedia defines rape culture as A term used within women s studies and feminism describing a culture in which rape and other sexual violence usually against women are common and in which prevalent attitudes norms practices and media condone normalize excuse or encourage sexualized violence Let s look at the first half of that definition As much as we may want to ignore the facts rape and sexual violence are common in America According to RAINN the nation s largest anti sexual violence organization someone in the US is sexually assaulted every 2 minutes On average that s about 207754 sexual assaults each year 54% of sexual assaults are not reported 97% of rapists will never spend a day in jail and 23 of these assaults are committed by someone known to the victimI could go on for days about how prevalent attitudes practices and the media condone sexual violence but I won t because I m really going to try and keep my words and links relevant to FSoG Thankfully throughout my research I found severalhundredThe University of California has an interesting article about how social and cultural norms perpetuate rape and rape culture In it they specifically address how women are conditioned from early ages to be passive and accept and affect certain attitudes and behaviors Here are some of the social rules they list and elaborate on1 When spoken to a woman must acknowledge the other person with a gracious smile2 Women must answer uestions asked of them3 Women must not bother other people or make a scene because they are uncomfortable4 When in trouble it is best to defer to the protection and judgment of men5 Casual touching or suggestive comments in social settings are meant as a tribute to a woman s desirability6 It is the natural state of affairs for men to carry the financial burden of social situations7 When engaged in a social encounter it is not proper for a woman to superior in any game sport or discussion if she wants to be accepted8 Women should always accept and trust the kindness of strangers if they offer helpThere s a blog post by Harriet Jacobs that also speaks to this and I urge you to read it in its entirety In short it says women are raised being told by parents teachers media peers and all surrounding social strata that it is not okay to set solid and distinct boundaries and reinforce them immediately and dramatically when crossed mean bitch it is not okay to appear distraught or emotional crazy bitch it is not okay to make personal decisions that the adults or other peers in your life do not agree with and it is not okay to refuse to explain those decisions to others stuck up bitch it is not okay to refuse to agree with somebody over and over and over again angry bitch it is not okay to have or express conflicted fluid or experimental feelings about yourself your body your sexuality your desires and your needs bitch got daddy issues it is not okay to use your physical strength if you have it to set physical boundaries dyke bitch it is not okay to raise your voice shrill bitch it is not okay to completely and utterly shut down somebody who obviously likes you mean dykefrigid bitch Now how do these two examples relate to FSoG Simply put Ana the main character in this series continuously exhibits the behaviors listed in the rules and seems to have the mentality of those listed in the bullets She might as well be the case study on which both were basedEarly in the book there s an interaction between her and a young man named Paul the son of the couple she works for This is someone she says has always been a buddy Just after they greet each other with a hug he releases me but keeps a possessive arm draped over my shoulder I shuffle from foot to foot embarrassed It s good to see Paul but he s always been overly familiar Does she tell him that she s uncomfortable or step out from beneath his arm No that d be going against everything that rule number three has taught her Plus she wouldn t want to come across as a mean bitch now would she Just after this Paul asks her out Whenever he s home he asks me on a date and I always say no It s a ritual Is it a ritual Or is it something than that Has Ana like many of us been conditioned to follow the rules to such a degree that she doesn t know how to tell him It s not okay to keep asking me out Is she so terrified of breaking cultural norms and coming across as a mean crazy angry dyke shrill frigid bitch that she ll put up with his pursuit of her indefinitely Or does she just not know to put a stop to it because she hasn t been taught toWhen she turns him down yet again he goes on to say Ana one of these days you ll say yes Creeped out yet You should be How does Ana respond to this declaration By escaping the room they re in and getting back to a crowded store floor What does this tell us She felt the need to flee She felt the need to not be alone with him Part of her clearly recognized the danger of the situation and the repeated advances of her friend But instead of speaking up she fledShe never voices her discomfort She is the submissive uiet person that society has taught her to be And 70 million people have read about her and have had these dangerously passive behaviors reinforced yet again through her actions behaviors and words or lack thereofHow will this same mentality play out in a situation involving sexual assault I can tell you because just a few chapters later she s sexually assaulted by another of her friends Jos I m okay I ve got this I try to push him away rather feebly Ana please he whispers and now he s holding me in his arms pulling me close Jos what are you doing You know I like you Ana please He has one hand at the small of my back holding me against him the other at my chin tipping back my head Holy fuckhe s going to kiss me No Jos stop no I push him but he s a wall of hard muscle and I cannot shift him His hand has slipped into my hair and he s holding my head in place Please Ana cari o he whispers against my lips He gently trails kisses along my jaw up to the side of my mouth I feel panicky drunk and out of control The feeling is suffocating Jos no I plead I don t want thisLuckily Ana is spared further abuse because the one and only Christian Grey arrives on the scene and saves her How By saying I think the lady said no That s right Ana can try to push Jos away and tell him no multiple times but that s not good enough One sentence from a man and Jos immediately releases her bringing us back to rule number four When in trouble it is best to defer to the protection and judgment of men You got that ladies Don t try to fight back because you ll just be ignored rely instead on a man Sort of a catch 22 when the one who s going to get you into trouble will likely also be a manBear in mind that this little scene takes place in the parking lot outside of a crowded bar just a shout away from salvation You re probably wondering why Ana didn t scream Why she didn t fight harder Well I d like to bring up Harriet Jacob s blog post again because just after her bitch list she says this If we teach women that there are only certain ways they may acceptably behave we should not be surprised when they behave in those waysAnd we should not be surprised when they behave these ways during attempted or completed rapesWomen who are taught not to speak up too loudly or too forcefully or too adamantly or too demandingly are not going to shout NO at the top of their goddamn lungs just because some guy is getting uncomfortably closeWomen who are taught not to keep arguing are not going to keep saying NO Women who are taught that their needs and desires are not to be trusted are fickle and wrong and are not to be interpreted by the woman herself are not going to know how to argue with but you liked kissing I just thought Women who are taught that physical confrontations make them look crazy will not start hitting kicking and screaming until it s too late if they do at allNobody obtains the superpower to behave dramatically differently during a frightening confrontation Women will behave the same way they have been taught to behave in all social professional and sexual interactions Eerie isn t it I sure thought so Hopefully by now you re beginning to understand the inflammatory statement this all started withNot only do Ana s actions and behaviors throughout the book reinforce the horrible societal conditioning that I mentioned earlier but this series also contains a lot of the other facets of rape culture like victim silencing For instance once she s collected herself this happens Turning I glance at Jos who looks pretty shamefaced himself and like me intimidated by Grey I glare at him I have a few choice words for my so called friend none of which I can repeat in front of Christian Grey CEO Ana who are you kidding He s just seen you hurl all over the ground and into the local flora There s no disguising you lack of ladylike behavior That s right folks It isn t ladylike to yell shrill bitch It isn t ladylike to swear crazy bitch It isn t ladylike to defend yourself after you ve just been sexually assaulted mean bitch Leave that to the menfolk Surely they ll defend you Surely they ll be the ones to address the fact that you were just sexually assaulted Men you know the other sex the ones that have been raised to talk about emotions In publicAnd while we re discussing this scene we can t forget about rule number eight Women should always accept and trust the kindness of strangers if they offer help That s what Christian is to her at this point in the book A stranger She s seen him only three times in formal or work related settings and knows nothing about him other than he s rich good looking and that his shopping list resembles those of serial killers I ll get to that last part later in the review But accept his help and trust his kindness she does She lets this complete stranger remove her from the bar assuming that as he s just saved her from a sexual assault he s not planning one of his ownWhen she wakes up in his suite the next morning pantsless by the way she accuses Christian of stalking her He defends himself by saying if I hadn t come to get you you d probably waking up in the photographer s Jos s bed and from what I can remember you weren t overly enthused about him pressing his suit he Christian says acidly Pressing his suit I glance up at Christian He s glaring at me eyes blazing aggrieved I try to bit my lip but I fail to repress my giggle Which Medieval chronicle did you escape from You sound like a courtly knight You got that Stalking s okay Because it s better than being rapedfacepalmI m almost at a loss at how to address the rest of this without copious amounts of swearing How little she s concerned with her friend s behavior is appalling That there s no thought on her end about Christian s allusion to her rape escape is appalling How she glosses over it all and makes a fucking joke about it is appalling It continues by the way I would have been fine I was with Kate And the photographer he Christian snaps at me Jos just got out of line I shrugA shrug is a dismissive gesture just in case you were wondering She dismisses sexual assault as getting out of line She downplays the severity of what happened Why does she do this Because it s awkward to talk about it Because it s scary to think that someone she knows and trusts assaulted her and that when she tried to push him away and said no he ignored her Guess what It s always going to suck to talk about It s always scary to realize that statistics say that if you re raped you ll know your attacker But we need to talk about these things because if we don t nothing will ever changeAnd now the grand finale victim shaming and blaming You see Jos feels bad for what he did At first Ana is pissed at him as she should be and even after he calls her numerous times and leaves several messages she continues to ignore him deciding to let him stew Then the NEXT DAY this happens The memory of Jos s attempted kiss haunts me I m beginning to feel a bit cruel not calling him backShe feels cruel She feels cruel for not returning the calls of the man that forced himself upon her Well of course she does She s been trained to be gracious and polite He s addressing her Rule number one has taught her that she should smile in this situation so it would make sense that she feels bad for not doing so Two days later they talk Can I see you I m sorry about Friday night I was drunkand youwell Ana please forgive me Of course I forgive you Jos Just don t do it again You know I don t feel like that about you Here s where I start to get really angry and you what exactly Were there Were breathing Had tits How can Jos s behavior in any way be blamed on Ana This is the she deserved to be raped because she was wearing a skirt mentality that needs to be burned from our collective minds No one can ever make you do anything Everything you do every way you behave is a choice that you and you alone make So no there is no and you Books like this with scenes like the ones I ve spoken about only perpetuate our silence our ignorance our discomfort and our complicity They reinforce unhealthy behaviors and thinking patterns and they perpetuate rape culture Authors I beg you don t cover tough issues and strong themes if you can t do them justice Grant them the depth and the severity they deserve PleaseBlog Facebook Twitter Instagram Pinterest

free read ´ eBook, PDF or Kindle ePUB ñ E.L. JamesFifty Shades of Grey

Fifty Shades of Grey characters µ 7 Einem Interview für ihre Uni Zeitung kennen Und möchte ihn eigentlich schnellstmöglich wieder vergessen denn die Begegnung mit ihm hat sie zutiefst verwirrt So sehr sie sich aber darum bemüh. Garbage Absolutely horrifying utter trash A waste of trees bookshelf space and precious oh so very fucking precious braincells Honestly why is this even published Every single book store in Sydney is promoting this tripe claiming it to be some kind of awesome romance novel Are you absolutely shitting me There is nothing romantic at all about this book And I don t mean the BDSM erotica themes I mean the fifty levels of abuse in this friggin thing In fact that s what this book should be called Fifty shades of absolute fucking insanity and abuse I know at least every one star reviewer has taken the title and created their own pun with it but fuck it I m jumping on the bandwagon too Before I decided to read this God help me I kept seeing it everywhere I went and the book store where I work was involved in the promotion among other book store chains Typical All me and my co workers knew that it was smut and a hell of a lot of it too We even turned the book into a drinking game and it goes as thus Flip to a random page of the book If it s something dirty take a drink I do not recommend this game for one could die from alcohol poisoning within the first round But if you re feeling adventurous by all means Glad I could be of service to your crazy party ideas But anyway let s cut to my opinion of this abomination of literature I decided to read it because it sounded like garbage and I haven t written a review about garbage in too long I owed something to the people who actually found me worthwhile to follow on Goodreads So I decided hell I ll review this Brain cells I will never ever EVER get backThis is literally the worst book I have ever read and I say that about many books But this is the worst book for a damn good reason Let s talk about what I hated about this book The bottom line is I hated absolutely everything And I m not saying that to be funny I m saying that out of all seriousness I didn t find a single redeeming uality in this book With the Hush hush series we at least had the unintentional hilarity and the awesomeness of Marcie In Twilight we had that chick who wanted to kill Bella and Tyler s van Fifty shades of Grey has no such redeeming ualities The characters are bland and merely props to set the stage for fucking weird BDSM ing and the plot was lost somewhere in the vagina of the author s wet dream Believe me I feel weird for even typing these words Not to mention even though everyone already knows this this was originally a Twilight fan fiction called Master of the universe or some shitty stupid title like that How did such a thing get published What Twilight wasn t horrible and abuse glorifying enough so we had to kick it up a notch with publishing Master of the universe Are you people serious Why is it that dumber and dumber things are getting published uality is almost non existent Fucking hell But before I rant on for hours about that let s talk about the characters Oh I mean props Yeah props is appropriate Why Because the characters for all the personality they had may as well have been props Our first main prop is Ana aka Bella Swan The plain virginal wallflower who thinks lowly of herself whilst everyone around her just seems to freaking worship her She is also clumsy reads books has divorced parents doesn t get along with her step father and is a brain dead moronic twat Remind you of anyone I wonder who you re thinking of That is a humdinger isn t it I m amazed how many women are not pissed off with her complete lack of sense and self respect She lets a man abuse her physically and emotionally and allows him to satiate his ever growing need to control her completely passing it off as some cute obsessive habit And even if she has doubts and runs away she comes running back to him only seconds after How are people not pissed off about this Seriously Not to mention she has zero personality zero brain cells and zero common sense Her character serves no purpose other than becoming some abusive asshole s sex toy And let s not forget our second main prop Christian Grey aka Edward Cullen aka creepy stalker sociopathic megalomaniacal abusive horrifying asshole The fact that he has fangirls in the real world has pretty much ruined my faith in mankind and the new generation Christian Gray pretty much pushes the limits that Edward Cullen Patch Daniel and others have yet to push due to their PG ratings but fuck does Christian Grey push those fucking limits He physically abuses Ana and it somehow gets excused on the account that she was briefly aroused by it SERIOUSLY PEOPLE SERIOUSLY Fuck my life He also decides what she should eat what she should wear how she should act speak communicate with him where she can and can t go or what she can and can t do threatens her constantly even with physical violence and the list goes on I kid you not He even has this set out as a contract which by the way is repeated at least 5 times in the fucking book Here s another example of how romantic this mother fucker is I like the control it gives me Anastasia I want you to behave in a particular way and if you don t I shall punish you and you will learn to behave the way I desireSee Romantic as freaking Mel Gibson And by the way the women who find this guy romantic need some serious therapy Seriously Harsh I know but finding this guy romantic is like like excusing the actions of a child molester because he has nice hair This is not romantic This is ABUSIVE and WRONG on sooooo many levelsI don t know why they decided to plant this book in the general romance section This is not romantic And don t give me the IT S MEANT TO BE BDSM SO IT S SUPPOSED TO BE ALL DOM VS SUB This goes way beyond the good ol BDSM theme and just ends up treading into abusive territory Christian takes these aspects into the relationship where he ends up not only controlling a woman sexually but also emotionally and deliberately moulding her into not just a sex partner but an ideal of what he wants her to be and leaves her no room for her individuality and instead brands it as punishable That s not part of the BDSM jig I m sorry but it s not Why people even call this romantic is beyond me I already mentioned the abusive aspects of this so called relationship but other than that it was a relationship built on air Since neither of the characters had any personality outside their sex drives they had nothing that they saw in each other They couldn t relate to each other they didn t share any common interests they didn t do any good for each other outside the sexy stuff And at the end they want to pass it off as though the two are actually in love Give me a break Watching people get swooped at by magpies is romantic that this garbageThe plot There was no plot Seriously I could not find it ANYWHERE I searched and searched but alas my search has left me unrewarded Let me explain in a uick paragraph how this book goes Girl meets some guy Some guy is hot Girl thinks some guy is hot Hot some guy shows up where girl who thinks some guy is hot works Hot some guy asks out girl takes her virginity Stuff happens Hot some guy introduces girl who thinks he s hot by the way to his BDSM sex dungeon and the next half of the book is spent pondering whether or not girl who thinks some guy is hot in case it wasn t mentioned enough in the book wants to indulge in hot some guy s fantasies Also the hot some guy takes complete control over girl did I mention she thinks he s hot who seems to be totally okay with it More stuff happens Girl gets spanked too hard breaks up with hot some guy The end That s it That s the whole book And the whole Ohhh Christian has secrets bullcrap in the blurb Bullcrap His secrets are mentioned in only 5% of the book and drive the plot nowhere The book is only about how some asshole wants to control some stupid girl The other characters are barely relevant They were just props whose only role was to be interested in the relationship between Ana and Christian They didn t seem to be interested in anything else They could be buttering toast and thinking I wonder how hard Christian is fucking Ana right now An absolute waste The media might be promoting this tripe as the new hero of literature but this is and always will be just another wart on the ass of literature along with Twilight and all its descendants You know what they say you can polish a turd but it will still be a turd

E.L. James ñ 7 review

Fifty Shades of Grey characters µ 7 T Sie kommt von ihm nicht los Christian führt Ana ein in eine dunkle gefährliche Welt der Liebe – in eine Welt vor der sie zurückschreckt und die sie doch mit unwiderstehlicher Kraft anzieh. Head s up If any of you fuckers comment at the bottom of this review and say You don t understand BDSM I will hunt you down and make you eat your computer plus the mouse plus the keyboard plus any other internet connected devices in your home including but not limited to iPhones iPods iPads Androids games consoles and ereaders This book is not an accurate or healthy portrayal of a real BDSM relationship between two consensual and enthusiastic parties Thus by defending it as such you are doing a disservice to the actual culture of BDSM no kinkshaming So don t fuck with me and try to pull that shitOh also there will be a substantial amount of cussing throughout this review If you care about the sanctity of your virgin eyes then shut down your computer and go do something else We are all grown ass adults and this is the internet If you re going to come over and here and lecture me about swearing then I d advise that you PIPE the fuck down and stop being so bloody delicate Alrighty then You guessed it guys it s story timeWhen I was thirteen I decided I wanted to be an author For years I d chattered away about being an architect or a vet or what have you but who was I kidding All I ever wanted to do was write So I sat down and I did I did writeI m actually not shitting you I thought it would be as easy as sitting down and writing some crap on Wordpad alright calm down this was the noughties and I wrote a lot of crap I tried to write a play and then I tried poetry and then I wrote short stories before eventually expanding into novels Novels is a stretch I wrote about a hundred single spaced pages and to my present day horror made my family read it And they actually did Remember all those embarrassingly awful school projects you did when you were thirteen Or even just those embarrassingly awful things you did in general when you were thirteen I feel the same level of shame when I think of my little preteen self handing this pile of shit over to my sister and thinking I actually had somethingAbout a year later with zero knowledge of how publishing works I posted it straight into a bunch of indie publisher s slushpiles A vanity publisher replied to me and told me they didn t want my work and I did the undoable I argued with themAs I write this I m practically convulsing with embarrassment Vanity Publisher if you re reading this please forget I ever existed But if you can t do that at least give me an alias when you tell all your friends about that dumb kid who sent you the book about pyromania without having done any researchIn some ways having read this book I finally feel like I identify with that vanity publisher I read someone s irredeemable shit and hated it but then they tried to defend it and I got so mad I broke a window with my facePeeps if you think EL James hasn t tried to defend this shit then you need to get on YouTube and watch some pleading vids from the publisherI justI haven t read a book this awful since Revealing Eden but let s not open that can of worms It was like an acid trip Am I reading this I thought Is this actually a published book Are people actually parting with money for this slab of steaming garbageI feel like this book insulted me really I feel like it spat in my face because what reader respecting author would create a protagonist this redundant and awe inspiringly dense expecting an audience to love and respect her It s as if someone took an ice cream scoop and relieved Ana of her brain How could you Why would you Why is sheI justI have no words I have no words to explain this protagonist None at all I have to say about the love interest who s like a threatening Charles Manson but with only one brainwashed follower Ana This guy goes to the hardware store and buys like chains and lime and shit and Ana doesn t think this is weirdWhat the fucking fuckAnd of course there s the whole inner goddess shit and Ana thinking that it s sexy to wear a chunky knit sweater and be strapped into a vehicle and then using the word vagina during a sex scene Oh he touched my vaginaYeah excuse me while I tame my bonerI felt so uncomfortable reading this book Now let s be honest here I read porn Of course I read porn Anyone over sixteen who says they ve never looked at or read porn is talking out of their ass But this book made me feel uncomfortable and here s the kicker I read it alone I was reading it alone in my living room and I felt uncomfortable inside my own head What the fuck does that tell youI don t want to start yammering on about the way this book is written It s written like horrendous fanfiction There are spelling and punctuation errors stupid turns of phrase random asides stilted dialogue awful physical descriptions weird pacing and I don t know like a thousand instances of brand dropping and band naming which gives the book this bizarre cheap and dated uality that really takes away from what little redeeming features it might have hadWhat are the redeeming features I don t know The blurb sounds interesting That s about itBut what is it about this book that s captured the attention of so many millions of people across the world The absurdly stupid protagonist The pushy obsessive totally unrealistic love interest The relationship in which only one party is actually interested in BDSM and the other is incredibly resistant to it but is forced into it The terrible writing The awful cover art The cheap thin binding A story so convoluted so ridiculous so totally immature it could only ever have been born from Twilight There is nothing enjoyable about this book This book is garbage There are no two ways about it it is shit Awful awful shit And I m not sorry for saying so This is my fucking opinion and I m damn well going to voice it This book can kiss my ass

  • Klappenbroschur
  • 603
  • Fifty Shades of Grey
  • E.L. James
  • German
  • 07 September 2018
  • 9783442478958